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Topic: 101 reason NOT to have kids (Read 2,879 times)

Mercurior
The Weigher of Souls

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101 reason NOT to have kids
« Thread Started on Mar 10, 2006, 11:33pm »

http://www.aboverubies.org/articles/101.html

My Comments in BOLD This board can be added to by guests, no need to sign up, you can post anything here. your own versions of these.

1. We love receiving gifts and blessings from God. yes he blessed you with breasts down to your ankles, no sense of self identity

2. Why would I ever want to turn down one of God's blessings? because of the expense the trouble kids cause

3. We not only want to receive gifts from God for ourselves, but we want to give more gifts to the world. Every God gives us is a gift to the world. if they are a gift where can you return them

4. It's so exciting to see who God will send to bless us each time. yes could be a serial killer of a pedophile or worse a politician

5. It's an honor for the Lord to use my womb again. does your hubbie know your cheating on him

6. I love being "with child." put a watermelon there and you can have the feeling forever

7. I love to see what God thinks of next. I believe each child is a precious and unique thought, with vast possibilities, straight from our Heavenly Father. It's the most exciting thing in my entire life to give birth and see the new little person. There is nothing that moves me as much as seeing the birth of a baby. he could be an athiest, or an axe murderer, or a prostitute

8. I love to behold the handiwork of the Lord as a new little miracle comes forth. so you have got nothing to do with your kid, only god, then get him to pay for paternity

9. The birth of a baby is the ultimate fulfillment of love between a husband and wife. Each child is an unbreakable bond between a father and mother.
so no one has divorced over the birth of a kid

10. It is amazing to think that each child is a part of me and my beloved husband. which part is your kid, 1/3rd gods, 1/3rd hubbie, 1/3rd wifes..

11. God said to Jeremiah, "BEFORE I formed you in the womb I knew you..." God is the One who will form my future children. If He knew Jeremiah before conception, then He knows all my children before conception, yes, even the children who haven't yet been formed. I don't want to refuse children God has chosen. if he knows them then why do you need to have them

12. I'd love another baby because to choose not to is like saying NO to God. I want to say YES to God and His will for my life. dont you mean oh yes oh yes oh yes to god

13. I'll have more people to love. you mean more than then 6.3 billion already on this planet

14. I'll have more hands to help. its called slavery
15. I'll have more babies to nurse and therefore less risk of breast cancer. yeah and thats really going to be a reason to have a kid, yes son we had you so mum can not have breast cancer

16. I feel so blessed that God wants to reward us again. once again, a child as a reward, reward for having sex, its more a booby prize

17. I look upon each child as an incredibly beautiful jewel. Each one takes on a different loveliness and I can't wait to see the next jewel arrive. wouldnt you rather have diamonds and emeralds to mewling brats

18. Another baby in the family makes my other children so happy. have they told you this or are you just assuming
19. I love to see the faces of my children as they see a new brother or sister for the first time. what the gross, puke view of it all slimed up.
20. Babies teach the older children so much about caring for little ones, being kind, protective, and unselfish. kids unselfish, rubbish kids only look out for number 1
21. Children brighten up the home. They make life interesting. brighten up the white walls with red crayons, and vomit stains on your clothes
22. I become a better mother with each child I have. wow,does this mean the first kid u had had a bad mother
23. Children teach me patience. or homicidal techniques
24. My children think I'm beautiful no matter how I look. because they dont know any better, and you really want a 3 and 4 year old to tell you that you are attactive, and not your hubbie
25. The more children we have, the more they entertain one another. yes with lets see who can make timmy scream the loudest
26. There's always someone around to visit with, play with, pray with, or read to. yes always , around no matter what you do, always there,
27. It's just as easy to cook for ten as it is for one! it all depends on what your cooking them, dialling up for a pizza takes 30 mins or less or your pizza is free
28. More children give us the opportunity to have our faith increased as we see God meet our daily needs. so kids are a substitute to prayer then and you expect god to give you handouts
29. You have your own cheering squad in whatever you do. gimme a M gimme an O gimme another O, what does that spell MOO
30. The more children we have, the more impact we have upon the world. yes, more resources, more water, more food, more pollution, more greed, more consumerism
31. We want to establish a godly dynasty that will continue down the generations to come. until the world is jam packed with people and everyone is starving
32. We want to raise another soul for Jesus.why cant god make more souls, thats his job and what does jesus want with them, is there a black market in souls
33. We desire to raise up a standard for God in this evil day.
34. More children releases more of Christ in our home. as if there isnt too many people in that home to start with
35. Because babies are the most irresistible things on earth. nah i can resist them fine
36. There is nothing like a new baby in the house.definatly, the smells of vomit and dirty nappies
37. There is no occupation more rewarding than motherhood. i dont see adverts for occupation of moo's do they pay employment tax

38. Because I am fulfilling the only career that is eternal! Every other career will be left behind when we leave this earth, but I can take my children with me into glory. My children are eternal souls who will live for ever. and how will you leave the earth in a shiny vehicle to alpha centauri

39. Parenthood is investing in eternity. where is the bank of eternity, i aint seen a company called that
40. Children are like arrows which we send to places where we will never be able to go. good position for a kid on the end of a wooden pole and sent to the stratosphere

41. We want to fill our quiver. but a quiver only holds so many.
42. Because of the people who might be reached for Christ through this child. that is if he is a beleiver, he may not
43. I want to increase the 'salt' and 'light' proportion in the world! salt, and light, i thought salt came mostly from the sea, and light from the sun, so yes lets send them to the bottom of the sea and to the sun
44. We're forming our own orchestra to make music to the Lord. and which one will be playing the tuba
45. Having and raising children aids in sanctification of us parents. so having a kid makes you holy, but then what about jesus, he didnt have any kids..
46. Having children helps to develop in us the godly character of servanthood. back to slavery
47. My children help me surrender the selfish desires of my flesh. you mean like sex, eating, breathing etc etc
48. Parenthood allows us to experience the kind of love our Heavenly Father has for us. your god is a vengeful god, he shall smote down the wicked.
49. In an era when so many individuals condone the denial, or taking of life - we want to give life - for life is sacred. and yes every sperm is sacred
50. We don't want to deprive our parents of their "crowning glory" (Proverbs 17:6). We want to bless them with grandchildren. so having a kid isnt a crowning glory only having grandkids
51. Our children are my teachers. I learn sweet things from them every day. like, johnny done ploopy plops
52. I'm replenishing the earth with godly seed. then let him sow for himself,
53. I want to be obedient to God's Word to "Be fruitful and multiply." until the world explodes or dies from starvation
54. My children are my friends and my brothers and sisters in the Lord. Now who can have too many of these? if your kids are your friends you really do need to get out more
55. I have a passionate love for babies. yes its called pedophilia
56. I just love being a mother. I love being pregnant. I love giving birth and I love breastfeeding. what with the 3 am feedings, the feeling of a watermelon in your stomach, the feeling of pushing watermelon out of a hosepipe, and the droopy saggy breasts

57. I love the sweet smiles, the delightful giggle, the soft baby to cuddle. moke some dope instead its cheaper
58. Jesus said that when we welcome a little child into our home and family we are actually welcoming Him. I don't want to spurn Jesus. spurn him baby, spurn him, its a disco inferno, what has he done for you recently
59. We want our children to have the riches of many relationships with brothers and sisters. When we are no longer living, our children will have each other for encouragement, fellowship and a sense of family. yes and no brother ever killed brother, hello cain, hello abel
60. The more children we have, the more our love is multiplied. why not breed cockroaches then, they can make billions
61. We still have an empty seat in our van, and we'd like to fill it! i am sure you can fit 2 in the ashtray
62. Our children are all so wonderful, who could resist another one? once again i can,
63. God says that children are a reward and we believe Him! do you beleive everything god says, check out pauls gospel,
64. Children are the most precious gift of marriage. i thought that was a toaster
65. We get lots of experience in sharing and communicating. eat your dinner, NO, eat your dinner NO, eat your dinner, NO, clean your dinner off the dog, NO he he he
66. Children help me see my daily dependence on God for His wisdom and strength. is there a 12 step program for kid dependence, hi i am maisie, i am on 2 kids a day i am an addict
67. I love to feel a precious life within my womb. try having a liver fluke, it gives you the same warm feeling
68. Large families are FUN! And we love having fun. ask the kids are they fun everyone is always busy with brat number 4 doing a number 2

69. In a large family, the children and teenagers don't want to go out to find entertainment because they are lonely and bored - there is already fun and entertainment at home A new baby reminds me of how Jesus came into the world. thye cant afford to go out as you have baby sitters, like a prison,

70. To be open to more children shows our present children that we love them. How can our children understand the love of God if we have the attitude that a certain number of children is too many?
its called living life, rather than the self imposed overcrowded mess

71. More children help to grow the church. then why dont you give money to the church instead
72. I want to rear strong soldiers for the Lord. yes a 3 year old with an ak 47 is summat you really want to see
73. I'll be able to spend eternity with my children. and it goes on and on and on, what will you talk about after the first 3 seconds
74. My body was created for this purpose. and thats the only reason why you are alive how sad
75. Family celebrations - birthdays, holidays and Christmas are even more wonderful with a new baby in the house. yes nothing like a good smell of vomit, and dirty diapers when people are eating

76. Hope for mankind is expressed in the miracle of a baby's birth. Wherever there is life, there is Hope. but what kind of life, human or animal or insect life
77. Babies are sweet, cuddly, adorable and have so much potential. It's like planting seeds in a flower garden - a beautiful bouquet for the future. potential to be a weed, or a cereal killer
78. There will be more people to pay for the aged's social security benefits. yes thats right the reason to have kids is the wallet of your future selves
79. I want to yield my womb as a living sacrifice to God. if you want a sacrifice i will be only too happy to use a knife to sacrifice ur womb
80. To prevent menses and enjoy the nursing hormones of prolactin and oxytocin. My most enjoyable and peaceful times are during the absence of menses during pregnancy To give a sweet testimony to a lost world. its called birth control, you moron, and whats ,more no more mess
81. Babies remind us of how wonderful and how creative our God is. yes he created viruses and diseases and wars, and bombs
82. We are training a godly generation that will cover the earth with the Gospel and prepare the way for Jesus' return. sieg heil,
83. Younger children teach the older children how to be helpers. By the time the are old enough to be married and have children of their own, they'll be prepared for raising them. were you prepared when you spawned
84. I want another arrow for God's army. well what you do is you get some wood, and some metal, and some feathers and there you have an arrow
85. I love to feel a precious new life moving within me. try a parasite oh wait you have, try a liver fluke instead that will make you lose weight
86. I would hate to stand before God on Judgment Day and have to answer why I rejected the children He had ordained for our family. have you got writen instructions on that, i was only obeying orders
87. Our children have taught me the value of relationships and the shallowness of the world's value system. yes the shallowness of having kid after kid after kid
88. I trust God in all other areas of my life and I want to trust Him in the area of having children too. never trust a person who says trust me
89. It sure is nice to kiss and smell a little one again. Their scent is so sweet. but a rose is infinitely nicer, so is bread, try aroma therapy

90. Babies are also a blessing to other people. They sure love to hold and cuddle mine. Since my siblings have stopped at two children per family, I want to supply them for my parents and everyone else's pleasure. and you give these kids to strangers to cuddle

91. Our horizon and interests are constantly widened. Each child is born with a different destiny upon his/her life. Each child has different gifts. As we encourage our children in their varied gifts we constantly learn new things ourselves. Our children will often take on ventures and interests that we would never have dreamed of. Parenthood is not confining, but enlarging. they all get born, they all live they all die, same destiny

92. Babies are future dish washers! only if you can fit 27 plates into their mouths
93. Babies are a lot more entertaining than TV. but contains just as much violence and sex
94. We're helping to build the kingdom of God. with all these people it should be done anytime next tuesday, honest guv, i just have to go a fix this problem i will be back, ok john wayne (a cowboy)
95. So I can buy cute baby and children's clothes, even if it's at a yard sale. ewwww babyclothes with who knwos what germs on them
96. I'll be able to spend eternity with my children.didnt i just answer this, what will you talk about 3 minutes after
97. Children teach me to become a servant, and that's what Jesus wants us to be. Jesus Himself said He came to serve rather than to be served. you can be my servant, with all the leftovers you can stand
98. To be convicted of sin and the need for repentance as I observe my sinful nature in my children's sinful natures. so its a sin, i dont see in the bible, oh so kids are a bribe to god or a decoy
99. The more children we have, the more we will be blessed when we are older. Instead of being lonely, we will have many children and grandchildren around to entertain us, bless us and care for us. tell that to the parents in old peoples homes
100. Raising up a godly seed is laying up treasure in heaven. i would rather have the treasure now please
101. Having children causes us to depend upon God moment by moment! good old god as drug,

all in all i like mine better, if you can find any more let me know

« Last Edit: Feb 2, 2007, 11:01am by Mercurior »